I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
