U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize