i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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