I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Randomize
