White coat. Heels.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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