I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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