i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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