Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
