i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
