I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
