Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
