Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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