Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
