im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
