chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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