i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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