So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
