If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize