After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Randomize
