The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize