in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I would fuck him just for his dog
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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