even my farts smell like vagina
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
