living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
