he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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