I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
