just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
