Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
