there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
