What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
