Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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