my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
