It's like a parade of train wrecks.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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