he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize