I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
