Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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