We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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