We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
