Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize