yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
