I think I won the penis lottery.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
