her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Operation Purity has been aborted
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
