Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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