Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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