What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Randomize
