I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
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