home. puking in laundry basket.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
