he shaved USA in his pubs
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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