So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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