I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
