you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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