anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
