She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
