she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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