does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
