and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
i think my cat just said my name.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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