this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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