I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
So here I am, sexting at work.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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