it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
