Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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