y did u give ur computer a hand job?
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
