he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
