well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
