I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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