I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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