Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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