Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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